Thursday, March 20, 2014

Yay Spring. You Go, Spring

It' s the first day of Spring today. Yay Spring. You go, Spring. Attaboy, Spring. It's been snowing for twelve straight hours, but that Spring he's just being coy. He's got Winter right where he wants him, trapped in my driveway. He can't escape, and Spring knows it. Spring doesn't worry. Spring is like Dirty Harry. He's gonna finish his hot dog before he comes out blastin'. I just know it.

There appears to be some sort of Civil War battleship foundered on my lawn that got snowed over. But that wily Spring, he's just waiting for the snow on the lawn to connect up with the snow on the roof, and then Bam!, that Spring's going to send the whole megillah into my basement. Then I'll be able to drag the Monitor or the Merrimack or whatever it is under there to the scrapyard and get rich like a metal thief.

There is no more firewood. That's bad. But I have a metal basket to burn wood pellets in when the firewood runs out. That's good. But after two years of hard use, the bottom of the basket burned clean through the other night, and the pellets just tumble out. That's bad. But my son and I found a stainless steel lid from a warming tray, like you'd see in a buffet line, and by modifying it a bit with a metal grinder and some pliers, I lined the bottom of the pellet basket. That's good. But we ran out of pellets, too. That's bad. But they sell pellets in every grocery store, supermarket, lumber yard, opium den, bordello, Walmart, and feed store in Maine. That's good. But every single one of them is completely out of pellets, in the whole state of Maine. That's bad. But I'm currently making ten pieces of furniture, and I burn the tapered cut-offs from the legs for heat. That's good. But they only lasted a day. That's bad. But the Tractor Supply company down the street got a pallet of pellets yesterday. That's good. The people before us bought twenty bags. That's bad. We bought the other thirty bags. That's good. Maine is nothing but trees, trees everywhere, trees growing out of the gutters on your house, trees crowding out the flowers in your pots, but the pellets came in bags labeled: Made in Alabama. I have no idea if that's good or bad, but it sure is something.

Yay Spring.


Larry Geiger said...

"Maine is nothing but trees, trees everywhere, trees growing out of the gutters on your house, trees crowding out the flowers in your pots, but the pellets came in bags labeled: Made in Alabama"


John The River said...

Out of an regional scientific curiosity, just how many more cords (4x4x8) of seasoned Maine hardwood would it have required to get you to this point in the season? I don't ask what will be required to see you through to spring (as practiced in the lower 47) because it might depress you and me.

Using my best guess, I started seedlings in pots sitting on shelves I installed in the upstairs southern windows. The seeds germinated and are coming up nicely. However, they will need to be planted in the dirt within six weeks and I'm beginning to worry that the soil temperature isn't going to be up to snuff in time.

Might be the right time to open up a big can of Global Warming. If we can find any.

SippicanCottage said...

Had six, needed eight, easy.

jon spencer said...

Years ago, we used to get a log truck load of hardwood culls / pulp wood. One load made the year easy.
Cost was $1200 in todays money ( I used a inflation calculator) but we had to do the cutting and splitting ourselves.
Was well worth it.
Have not priced what the loggers charge for a load these days.
I don't regret going with natural gas awhile back.
Now we only make a couple of cords for the camp each year.

Gringo said...

I can't say that I envy you.

Bill Jones said...

There are two reasons for the shortage
The first, obvious and legitimate one is the vast increase in demand due to the nut-freezing cold.
The other, not spoken about is the amount being shipped to Europe to be burned in what used to be coal fired generators because the eco-nazi's have decreed that they are a carbon-neutral fuel and therefore eligible for tax subsidies.

Yup, the tax-payers of Europe are paying to freeze you to death.
Is this an act of war?

Bill Jones said...

I use Coal with Fuel oil as support.

My cost is $0.92c per Million BTU's
- 12,000 btu/pound $220 Ton.

Sam L. said...

Is THAT what's troubling you, Bunkie? Well, chin up, listen to the music, and HEY, Put Down That Gun, I'm leavin' on a jet plane and won't come back no more, no more, hittin' the road yes SIR!