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Friday, March 07, 2014

So, What's New At Sippican Cottage? Fastique.com Is


It's been a very long winter. There's glacial ice, covered with six feet of snow, in my yard. The calendar claims it's March, but the calendar appears to be either illiterate or innumerate -- or perhaps it's a foreigner. The temperature still routinely drops below zero at night, and likewise struggles to begin with any number higher than "one" during the day, too. The sun comes up, looks ashamed of itself for a few minutes, and slinks back down below the horizon as fast as it can. The entire state of Maine, where I live, is almost out of firewood, pellets, and patience. Me too. How about you?

So what's a fella to do? Keep working, and trust in the promise of Spring. We might only have Spring for four hours, and those four hours might not appear until July, but sooner or later it has to show up, doesn't it? I need to reset the tumblers on the year, and right now. So let me be the first to plant the flag of rebirth in the snowbank at the end of the driveway where the plow driver really lets you have it: I've got a new website.

I call it Fastique.com

I've decided to offer a line of ready-to-ship, solid figured hardwood, heirloom quality furniture on its own website. Fastique.com is a portmanteau of FASt and anTIQUE. Of course if you don't want to reach for your dictionary, the word portmanteau means "a gibberish word designed for the Intertunnel."

Everything on Fastique.com is already made, so there's no waiting around for it, except for the time it takes to put it in a box and ship it to you. I've partnered with Amazon Payments, too, so you can pay for your purchases by using your existing Amazon account information. My new website has a better picture viewer, more pictures of the items, and a real, live, shopping cart instead of plain old Buy Now buttons. But if you see something you like, you've got to buy it right away, because there's only one of everything you see.

Same great quality we've always offered at Sippican Cottage Furniture, but no waiting. And to kick things off, everything is discounted, and ships for free. What's not to like? Hmmm, what's that smell? Smells like Spring. Let's Dance!
 
 

SPANNERS
by: Sippican Cottage

Sun's beaming in the window,
There's rumbling from the floor,
We're rollicking and pulsing
Boxes dancing out the door.

Oh how our muscles ripple,
We're making twenty knots,
We're alternating; current --
We're glowing with the watts.

Pounding down the corridors,
With Bills of Lading, piled;
Our output's put the boss on ice
We're blowing out the dials.

They count the beans but can't keep up,
We're cooking with the gas;
Our arms are made from tempered steel,
Our heart is made of brass.

That brass is rolled to make a tube,
The tube is bent just so;
And when we blow that trumpet, Jack,
The girls get all aglow.

The whistle blows at five o'clock,
It's twenty-three skidoo;
The guys and gals that made that stuff,
Go out for dancing too.

They box the compass of the steps
Then swing from chandeliers;
They leave the clerks there in the lurch
Then kick it up a gear.

They pound the floor into the ground,
They swing and then they sway;
They'd drink to all their troubles,
But they've long since gone away.

They close the places late at night,
And walk beneath the stars;
Arm in arm, exchanging charms
One's Venus, one is Mars.

Mighty children spring from them,
To keep the flame alight;
They nurse them with acetylene,
And ultra-violet light.

They grow some whiskers when they're old,
And sit down for a spell;
Their Ercoles will take their place,
And raise a little hell.


4 comments:

julie said...

Congratulations! I've been wondering when you'd have a new storefront up. I hope those tables move so fast they smoke on the way out the door.

Love the poem, too.

Leslie said...

I received the email, and was keen to "like" Fastique, as you requested, but, I had no luck. Since we only had one weekend of winter this year, I am warm, and ready to help in any way. Congratulations on the new shop!

Thud said...

Shipping to U.K. I'm still hoping you may have it figured out as you must have other Euro trash interested in your wares, turning up on your doorstep is my plan b.

Leslie said...

Also, if there is a "review" section at Fastique, I will be happy to leave a good one!