Monday, November 25, 2013

The Governor Of Maine Has Stolen My Children's Christmas Presents

The governor of Maine has stolen my children's Christmas presents, presents that were made possible only by the generosity of my readers.

Maine passed a law trying to extort sales tax money from Amazon, by claiming that if an Amazon Associate lives in Maine, then Amazon is a Maine company and must collect sales taxes here. That was about as wise and useful as it sounds. Amazon immediately cancelled all their Maine Associates' accounts, so the state will collect no sales tax, and everyone that derived income from their Associates accounts will lose all of that income, and so won't pay any tax on that, now, either. My situation is even worse than most. Because of some sort of clerical error, Amazon thought I still lived in Massachusetts, and never notified me that my account was being cancelled, and didn't instruct me to remove my Associates links when they notified everyone else, so in addition to forfeiting all future Amazon Associates income, I will also forfeit the last thirty days of Amazon income I've already earned. My wife and I had hoped to use that money to put presents under our Christmas tree for our children. Amazon Associates money is not "mad money" for us. I do not know exactly how I'm going to make up the shortfall in our income next year.

The fact that we will not receive this income any longer cannot diminish my gratitude to my readers for the kind and thoughtful gesture of trying to support this blog with their purchases. I want to thank everyone once again for reading, and commenting, and using my supplied links for as long as they lasted, and for hitting my tip jar, and for supporting my children in their musical efforts.

I hate to complicate this explanation of the disappearance of all my Amazon links, but in addition to Amazon, Google has cancelled Google Checkout as of the 20th of this month, so I will not be able to have that tip jar on my blog any longer, either. I'm very grateful to everyone that donated funds via that avenue also. As far as I know, the PayPal button still works, but it's only noontime, and the way things are going this week, by five o'clock the entire Internet might be turned off.

I must admit that I do not feel like I am a citizen of Maine any longer -- I just live here-- and I have no regard whatsoever for Massachusetts, the state of my birth. Hell, I barely feel like an American anymore. But I do feel as though I belong to a community of virtual citizens instead. They are scattered, of course, but they're generous, and intelligent, and forward-looking, kind, hardworking and salubrious, as I hope we are, and their Intertunnel nation is the only one I have any affection for now.

I was raised a Catholic, though that upbringing has done me precious little good for a long time. But I recall that I was taught, as the Bible says in Luke, to "pray for those that abuse you." So, here goes: This is me, saying a prayer for that rat-faced, greedy, grasping, porcine, boorish, gibbering, moronic stuttering clusterfark of a troglodyte pedlar we have for a Governor.

It's times like these that make me wish I had been raised by Evangelical Christians, instead of Catholics, so I could proceed directly to the "laying on of the hands."


julie said...

That's absolutely awful.

Next year will be what it will be, but I'd bet there are more than a few friends out here who would be happy to help you folks have a decent Christmas this year, at least. Let us know what we can do.

John The River said...

I'll willing to bet that the State House employes a person to check under and between the cushions in the visitors gallery for spare change.

Isn't it lovely how these politicians come up with new and inventive theories on why any money they see passing by really belongs to them (in the peoples name of course).

My beef with Amazon is that starting in November they agreed to collect and pay sales taxes to Massachusetts based on the tortured reasoning that Amazon owned a tech firm (that wasn't involved in sales or shipping) that was located in Reading MA. Amazon didn't inform their MA customers about the change but the local (liberal rag) paper couldn't help crowing about the "victory". If it makes you feel better, I'm not currently buying anything from Amazon and looking for other online vendors.

Perhaps I can kill two birds with one stone this Christmas by getting family and friends some furniture (Made in the USA) as presents. If I end up wrapping a photo of an ordered piece, that's cool. Now where can I get locally made furniture shipped to order?

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Well, crap! I just logged on to shop and found that the internet will cease to exist thanks to YOU! My small west coast community has no more stores of any merit so I turn to my internet community only to find the gub'mint has it strangle-held too.

Feel free to apply hands, believe it or not Catholics do that too. (did you make through Confirmation? Remember at Mass how the priest lifts his hands up for a blessing? that's all "laying of hands")

Anyway, we'll get though. I guess I'll just have to send you a check direct for the entertainment.

Leslie said...

Everywhere I turn...its from bad to worse. You are right, we no longer live in the US. The location is the same...that is about it. Bastards.

HMS Defiant said...

We drove through much of Maine on our way from Burlington to Damariscotta last June and I couldn't help but notice that from just west of Paris down to the sea, all the people of Maine seemed to be out in their front yards selling everything that wasn't nailed to the house. Do you suppose they collect sales tax for the good state government and reliably forward it on to the poorer people who live in that great state?

Thud said...

Is there a way around the amazon problem as I was planning to buy through here this week? As for the pols I'm sure as a Catholic there is special dispensation to be had for educational beating...through amazon perhaps?

leelu said...


Skip the hands thing. There is no problem that cannot be solved by a judicious application of high explosives.

Or, so I'm told.

Bilejones said...

I guess you need to re-route the cash through a trusted friend who lives in an Amazon friendly state, no, I don't know where they may be, I suspect the Rebel South rather than the Yankee North.

Gringo said...

I pay sales tax on Amazon. I am a TX resident.

leelu said...

Mine have disappeared as well.

I'm in Pa.


Anonymous said...

I just found out about this when I came to place a small Amazon order to send a pittance your way. I'm feeling at a loss. I NEED to hear the rest of the story about raising the basement ceiling.

My meager contribution was to order 2 copies of the satanic bovine brochure as gifts. Please hang in there and know that many of us out here are pulling for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

paypal still works folks

Anonymous said...


I am certain the Rumford Meteor will have a thing or two to say about this governor/bastard. Perhaps an encouragement to file 9,413 individual income tax forms for each Mainer. Mainee. Mainest. Mainstay. Whatever thou callest thyselves.

Bilejones said...

Fix it fast.

I am about to piss away far more money than I intend to.

You are one of the two bidders for the largesse, Lew Rockwell is the other.

98ZJUSMC said...

Feel free to apply hands, believe it or not Catholics do that too. (did you make through Confirmation? Remember at Mass how the priest lifts his hands up for a blessing? that's all "laying of hands")

Not the same thing and not really a very good try. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Hey 98
I know you from such websites as AoSHQ

Bob Loblaw said...

As someone who was born and raised in Maine, I'm not surprised. Maine politicians are hopeless Keynesian optimists who think that taxing the hell out of its polity will multiply into untold riches. Of course they look to the internet. Sales and income tax hikes must be done only every few years. The former go-to tax hike to get more revenue was tobacco. Now that a pack of cigs is north of $10 and your first-born for a carton, it's safe to say there isn't anymore milk to be coaxed out of that exhausted teet.

Declan said...

Here in NJ, our porcine governor worked out a "deal" with Amazon. Amazon now collects sales tax.

As a result, I now buy very little from them.

Matt said...

May the Good Lord bless and keep our betters in government; far away from here.

John The River said...


I went to your furniture store (online) and nothing seems to be...well..for sale?

(head scratching...)

SippicanCottage said...

Hi everyone- Thanks for your kind comments and for your support.

Hi John the River- Thanks for your interest in purchasing Sippican Cottage Furniture. Sorry that the site is temporarily unable to accept orders, until I can integrate a new payment gateway. Google Checkout was my payment gateway for the furniture store, as well as for my "tip jar" here. Google cancelled the entire service for everyone as of the 20th. My replacement for it was -- you guessed it -- Amazon. I was caught flatfooted by the suspension of Amazon Associates, and had to straighten it out before putting new payment buttons on my website. I do all my own website work (it shows) and I make all the furniture, so it's taking a little while. Please be patient. We'll have a batch of Ready To Ship furniture ready for Christmas delivery, too, if I don't keel over first.

Billy Oblivion said...

There is an affiliate aggregator out there somewhere (not the right name for it), but you set up your account with them, and it looks like it's in THEIR state.

You can hook multiple vendors up with one account.

I didn't dig that deep into it.

Amazon won't let you be an affiliate in my state, but I really can't blame them much.

Sixty Grit said...

Aye, my brother, a salubrious lot they are.

Taxes ate my money. The State is never satiated.

leelu said...

So, I see you've "monetized" with Google ad services? How is that going??