Friday, February 08, 2013

I Don't Gots No Wikipedia Page

If you knew me -- I mean, really knew me -- you'd know how much I adore a merengue version of a Kraftwerk song. But you don't know me. How could you? There is no Wikipedia page for Sippican Cottage.

But then again, what would it say? It's a brand of furniture! No, it's a guy, not a building. He once taught Frisbee at a state college, but now he writes flash fiction guaranteed to make you reach for the laudanum.

But wait! Don't answer! Sippican Cottage is a blog! NO! It's a guy that writes humor. He used to be a bass player, but now he publishes a faux newspaper in Uppastump, Maine. I'm beginning to think Sippican Cottage is both a dessert topping and a floor wax!

So I'm not sure I want a Wikipedia page, unless it's like the one  Uwe Schmidt's got. Uwe Schmidt, AKA Senor Coconut, AKA:

    Candy Ballsak
    Almost Digital
    Atom Heart
    Atomu' Shinzo
    The Bitniks
    Bund Deutscher Programmierer
    Coeur Atomique
    DATacide (a collaboration with Tetsu Inoue)
    The Disk Orchestra
    Don Atom
    DOS Tracks
    Dr. Atmo
    Dr. Mueller
    Dropshadow Disease
    Erik Satin
    Flanger (a collaboration with Burnt Friedman)

    Geeez 'N' Gosh
    Gon (a collaboration with Dandy Jack)
    HAT (a collaboration with Haruomi Hosono and Tetsu Inoue)
    H. Roth
    Interactive Music
    Jet Chamber (a collaboration with Pete Namlook)
    Lassigue Bendthaus
    Le Diapason
    Lisa Carbon
    Lisa Carbon & Friends
    The Lisa Carbon Trio
    Los Negritos
    Los Sampler's
    Machine Paisley
    Masters of Psychedelic Ambiance (a collaboration with Tetsu Inoue)
    Mike Mc Coy

    +N (a collaboration with Victor Sol)
    Pentatonic Surprise
    Real Intelligence
    The Roger Tubesound Ensemble
    Second Nature (a collaboration with Tetsu Inoue and Bill Laswell)
    Semiacoustic Nature
    Señor Coconut
    Silver Sound
    Superficial Depth
    Surtek Collective (a collaboration with Original Hamster)
    Urban Primitivism
    Weird Shit

Now that guy could give my Wikipedia page a run for the money. It says here that "He is often regarded as the father of electrolatino, electrogospel and acitón (acid-reggaeton) music." Pretty sweet, that. But me? Moi? Don't say Sippi can't, because Sippi can compete with that. After all, I'm the father of Buddy Holly inflected Minecraft inspired kid-rock cover music; and I also used to sing That's Amore with dirty lyrics in a Beach Boys tribute band.

I will, however, struggle to ever top Senor Coconut's version of Riders on the Storm. But I'm young, and I'll keep trying. (Notice: At least one of the girls in following video forgot their shirt. I'm told some persons that I don't know object to that)


Sixty Grit said...

Mmm, laudanum.

But seriously, I used to ride a Triumph 650 maybe 45 years ago - that was a great bike - well balanced, nice power, good handling - lots of fun.

Never met any of the women in that video, however. More's the pity...

What were we talkin' about?

SippicanCottage said...

I forget, too.

H. Gillham said...


Not the first time that your post has left me searching for an appropriate comment.

Not even appropriate.

Just a comment.

I got nothing.

SippicanCottage said...

You see? Harriet has elegantly summed up the problem.

Anonymous said...

I got one: every year without exception some student must be relieved of the misconception that Jim Morrison was a great poet. Every year.
P.s. Ever notice how the same people who told us that global warming was gonna stop all snow from falling by now are still making predictions about all kinds of things if they know everything???

Sam L. said...

Well, I got sumthin, but it ain't fully formed and I'm lacking a few parts and 5 bottles less than a 6-pack, so...I'll say Goodnight Chet, Goodnight Dave, and Walter, don't let the door hitcha.

Fine lookin' bikes. Purty fair hotsy-totsy biker chix, too.

All that's left to say is Spam, spam, spam, bacon and spam.

Leslie said...

I think it is much cooler to NOT have a wiki page. It is sort of like you can only be cool, if you don't know you are cool. (Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.)

Cachinnosus said...

Keeeler on thee road...
Las Puertas, me gusta.

Anonymous said...

whas wrong wit dem - most on singles or harley twins - nasty thumpin vibratin beasts.

Baby M said...

I will forever stand in awe of Senior Coconut's cover version of "Smoke on the Water."

John The River said...

Nice Brass.