Friday, August 17, 2012

I'm The Real Cottage Furniture Maker In Maine

I live in a cottage in Maine and make furniture. That's more than most that sell Maine cottage furniture can say. I'm busy, busy making made-to-order furniture for lovely people from hither and yon and to and fro and so forth and so on and here and there, (here and there is in Arizona, I think) but I've also got a selection of items ready-to-ship over at Sippican Cottage Furniture. I call these ready-to-ship items "Ready to Ship," to confuse my competitors and astound my enemies by telling the truth. My competitors can't compete, and my enemies need an enema...

That didn't come out like I'd planned...

No, that won't do, either. Mentioning "enemas" and "things not coming out as planned" isn't going to sell any tables. I could sell a couple billion shares of facebook stock with that approach, but my customers demand more.

How about 1/3 off and free shipping on seven five  three (better hurry on over) beautiful, handmade, solid wood, handmade-in-Maine items?

Sippican Cottage Furniture's Ready To Ship page


Andy said...

Meanwhile, in the other, less pointy corner of the country, the progression continues.

When those kids learn to use the internet and steal my credit cards, your business is going to spike. The girl is halfway there.

SippicanCottage said...

Holy cow go and look at Andy's adorable children.

I get such an enormous feeling of satisfaction seeing nice people use the things I've made in their homes. And gratitude, because of course you are all feeding my children, who aren't all that cute, so otherwise they'd starve.

My readers and customers are nice people. It allows me to masquerade as a nice person and no one notices.

Andy said...

I'd like to think I am giving you free advertising, but I get less traffic than the road to your house.

You're feeding my children, too you know. Without the steppers, they couldn't reach the chocolate chips and icing.

David Meehan said...

It looks computer generated...? :D

SippicanCottage said...

That's my front door, with a carpet in front of it. I didn't even use a flash on the camera.

Leatherneck said...

I just went through Google Hell to buy your shamrock table. Because I know it will be well crafted because of your writing. And I know you'll recycle the money in one of my favoritest states.

SippicanCottage said...


Sorry about the Google Checkout payment requirement. I'm in the process of offering payments by Amazon, but there's a lot of back end coding involved, and I have to do it all myself.

Thanks for your purchase, and for your kind words about my writing. I wish I had time to write more.

The table is already out for FedEx and you'll probably see it by Friday. It's, much, much nicer than the photo. Enjoy! And Thanks again.

Leatherneck said...

You're welcome. I'm impressed that within an hour of ordering the table, I got an email syaing "on the way." It's now in Lewiston and we're looking forward to receiving it.



SippicanCottage said...

Hi Tom- My wife and I package the furniture together, and we have fun doing it. When we got your order, we went back in the shop and did it in one hour flat. When we came back to email you with the tracking number, we discovered the last two tables on my Ready to Ship page had also sold in the interim. Very gratifying. We're thinking of feeding our children on the weekends now, too. For the rest of the month, anyway.

I put all of them on the FedEx truck myself earlier today. Lewiston is the nearest hub to us, about an hour away. That's how far the nearest Home Depot is, too.

Man, we live nowhere.

Sam L. said...

Nowhere is, I believe, somewhat closer than the Back Of Beyond.

Dinah said...

Please use the money I sent via Google Hell (30 minutes!) to buy some treats for those boys. You can spare a little for a treat for one evening on one of those weekends, can't you? The table is grossly underpriced (I can say that now that I have mine in hand) and is truly lovely. It'll be a treasure forever in fly-over country and is the best thing I've ever had from Maine (including the old, old LL Bean boots). Thank you for creating such a lovely thing for me.

SippicanCottage said...

Hi Dinah- Oh, dear there's two mentions of "Google Hell." I'm working to offer Amazon Payments on the website which will simplify things a great deal, but I do all the work on the website as well as the furniture, so it's taking some time.

Thanks for putting up with the process to purchase the table. I'm glad that you like it, and hope you enjoy many happy years of use from it. The grain of the wood in yours was quite unusual and pretty.

As you wish, I'll be sure to use some of your payment to go to the pawn shop and get back one toy each for the kids.