Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Tryin' To Make It Real, Compared To What?

My book of collected flash fiction, The Devil's In The Cows, is currently Number Two...

Wait a second, I didn't like the way that last sentence was shaping up. It's currently ranked second on Amazon's list of "Hot New Releases In Short Stories"

It's currently ranked 43rd in sales on Amazon for Fiction, Short Stories. I feel like I'm young and single again, as I'm ranked between "Dating my Vibrator" and "Christmas in High Heels" on the popularity scale.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has me by a nose, right now, but I'm seven slots ahead of that fellow that claims to be a writer from Maine named Stephen King. He may very well be from Maine, I guess; but I've lived here for over a year now and I've never run across the guy...

I realize upon closer inspection that that last sentence was an unfortunate turn of phrase to use regarding Stephen King, and apologize unreservedly. Anyway, if Stephen King really lived in Maine, I expect he would have been in my living room at least once by now. There just aren't that many of us up here. I bet he shares a villa with Gore Vidal near Como and just keeps a PO box in Skowhegan to keep the revenuers off his scent. 

The Devil's In The Cows is currently the 3013th best-selling book of any kind on Amazon.

I find upon looking around that there are at least 450,000 volumes about sparkly vampires alone available at Amazon, so if you throw in all the other books for sale there about vivisection and cooking and how to code websites so they don't work very well and Fabio with his shirt half-off and ex-government officials explaining why they should get a medal instead of an hour in the stocks, 3013 doesn't seem so bad.

But in the words of Joe Mantegna in The Money Pit, "Let's not get nuts, here."  I notice every other book around me on the lists have the full panoply of agents and publishers and flacks working on them day and night. All I have are friends and Windows XP and my own efforts. Friends are better, no matter how quickly I might slip from sight. You have a best seller? Compared to what?

I won't get nuts, because I know, as I wrote in A Fresh Crop Of Rocks:
A farmer never thinks wrong. That’s because a farmer never thinks his troubles are over. A farmer knows when he's eating a turkey with one hand and holding hands with a pretty girl with the other, things are going to go downhill soon. He feels about the same way when his hands are empty and the girl is ugly.”
I'm hardly a farmer, but the point stands. Thanks to all my readers that purchased a copy, and to Bird Dog, and to Glenn Reynolds, and Daphne, and Jill, and Julie, and everyone else who I'm overlooking in my haste to go and make a coffee table, and especially to Gerard Van der Leun for helping me sell my little book.

If you haven't purchased a copy yet, you're in luck. Amazon and Barnes and Noble are engaged in a discount war over the book, and it's currently available for only $8.60.

Buy my book!


derekalexander said...


Just got into trouble with Julie over at American Digest for not paying full price (see comments section) So now I have to buy another. (File under no good deed goes unpunished). Seriously, can't wait to get it.

Derek Cockerham Louisville, KY

julie said...

Of course, having said that over at American Digest, now I find all the references to buying from the publisher over here have disappeared. Doh!

But as Vanderleun pointed out, it's good to have an extra copy on hand, no matter where you get it...

Derek Alexander said...

Julie.. are you following me?

Jewel said...

I bought it from the publisher's site, so that you could have some folding cash.

julie said...


Nope, just serendipitous visits.

Hank said...

Bought mine yesterday - looking forward to taking it on vacation with me for some relaxed reading.

Glynn said...

Just received my copy in the mail. And then I saw the review at American Digest.

SippicanCottage said...

Hello Derek- Thanks for buying the book, and for reading and commenting.

It's perfectly OK for everyone to use the Amazon link to purchase the book at a discount. The discount is entirely on Amazon's and Barnes and Noble's end. I am paid the same despite the low price. I greatly appreciate everyone trying to maximize my take.

Hi Julie- Thanks again.

Hi Jewel- Thanks mucho. I do believe I notice you in the Amazon review section. Much appreciated.

Thanks, Hank.

Hi Glynn- Thanks for your purchase. I'll be glad to hear what you thought of it.

Gerard's review of the book staggered me a bit. I have a great deal of respect for his opinion in these matters, and his enthusiasm for it makes it sure I will write more books. He sold a lot of books for me, too. He is a great friend I never would have known without the Intertunnel. I have a lot of those.

He used a very unflattering picture of me, which is good for my ego.

Anonymous said...

It's a charming picture, and I think it says volumes. Cannot wait to read the book.

Leslie in Az.

Pogo said...

Congrats, sir!

Just bought one.

SippicanCottage said...

Hi Leslie- Thanks.

Pogo! One of my favorite people on the Intertunnel. Thanks muchly.

Dinah said...

Working my way thru my blogs and came upon American Digest's fab review (before I reached SC) and immediately, without pausing, went to Amazon and ordered some copies. I simply have enjoyed whatever you put up here and always wished there was a 'hard' version of your writing and you go! Cannot wait! Congratulations--it will be a bestseller I am sure.

julie said...

Hi Sipp,

As an aside, I love that the name Cork pops up in there once or twice. I'll bet you didn't know that's my last name :)

Tom Francis said...

I gotta tell 'ya man - this is a great book and I've been pushing it to all my friends - and enemies.

As BD said this morning, "he's a poet and didn't know it".

Or something like that. :>)


Jean said...

Since you get the same $ no matter where the order, I ordered three. Like getting two plus one for free.
Now, I must ponder which two people are worthy of your gems.

SippicanCottage said...

Hi Dinah- Thanks!

Hi Julie- Of course I know that's your last name. You purchased furniture, too, and the all-seeing eye of Sippican remembers nice people. You may want to consider that Cork is a place name, too.

Hi Tom- Thanks for your kind words and your purchase. I saw what I suspect was your review at Amazon, too. Loved it. Thanks for that, too.

Hi Jean- Thanks very much for that. I try to convey to my readers and furniture customers how grateful I am when they purchase things and use the Amazon box and so forth, but it's hard to give people a perspective on it. The Intertunnel is full of writers that have a sinecure and six-figure salaries and they still have a tip jar. My children will have more to eat next month because people bought books and furniture this month. I'm immensely grateful to each and every one of my Interfriends.

julie said...

Re. the county name, of course - that's where the surname came from.

It just isn't one we encounter too often, in either variation; seeing it used as a proper name - county or person - makes me smile.

There's a Far Side cartoon out there featuring my maiden name, which is just as unusual; makes me smile every time I see that one, too.


Derek Alexander said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Derek Alexander said...

Got the book yesterday and couldn't put it down (see my review on my blog) also put review up on Amazon and left them a message because their rating only goes up to 5 stars (think spinal tap) but I don't think they were than worked up about it..
By the way the review is scathing, your should be ashamed!

leelu said...


And I wasted two days trying to find out how to order it from the publisher, until I saw julie's and your comments. Hurry up Wednesday!

SippicanCottage said...

Hi Derek- Thanks for your kind words and for purchasing the book. I must admit I am not immune to praise.

Hi Leelu- Thanks muchly. I hope you enjoy it.