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Monday, January 12, 2009

My Television Has A Brightness Knob. I Keep Turning It But This Guy Doesn't Get Any Smarter



NECN gets down with the Sippican Thang.

20 comments:

Gerard said...

"He enjoys reading out of print books...." and his complete collection of the forbidden issues of Hustler magazine.

He also enjoys crushing puppies into his furniture with a brick to mimic that special stain only decades of animal abuse can give to a slab of otherwise unsalable pine scrap he pulls out of dumpsters down by the Goodwill.

When he is really up and running he especially enjoys human sacrifice and gopher barbecues with his "special friends" from the Federal Work Release Program.

A husband and father for no discernible reason, he was able to have his juvenile records sealed and the thumbs reattached.

Rumors of cheaply printed fliers bearing a recent booking photograph of himself being stapled to telephone polls within ten miles of his home with the advice "Shoot to Maim" are probably overstated.

His supporters in the last election managed to raise enough money to supply him with the helmet with the stick on the forehead which he uses for that special distressed look his high chairs have.

Rumors that Dennys has commissioned him to supply more that 15,0000 booster seats for the chain have proved to be accurate.

Gerard said...

Other than that... things are looking up as he continues to suck in publicity like a sponge at the bottom of the Marianas trench.

SippicanCottage said...

And these are my friends. If strangers show up, things could get rough.

jamiehunt said...

Whilst channel surfing last night, I spied one of your birdhouses on NECN. "Hey, that's Sippican!" I yelled to the wife. We enjoyed watching you flog and maul the furniture.

Ron said...

Ah, the Once and Future Bob Vila!

Nice to see they know about Ma Barker...ahem.

You're more handsome than a blogger has a right to be.

Glynn said...

I loved the reporter's description of Ma Barker -- "a Depression-era mother of four sons." But that aside, publicity doesn't get much better than this. Nice.

Richard Dolan said...

Sippican: Folks (well, one or two) over at Althouse are wondering why you deleted all your old blog comments. Planning on challenging Obama or Kerry or something like that?

Golden West said...

What a nice segment!

Anwyn said...

And he wears that vest on the job every day, I bet.

"flog and maul the furniture" ... ahahhahaa.

leon said...

i was glad to see that. i'm not at all sure how i first found this blog but i suspect it was via maggie's farm. whenever i read a blog i try to imagine the writer's age and tone and give them their own voice. often i suspect they end up sounding like the voice in my head(which sounds nothing like my outside voice btw) with a different attitude. i don't know if i will always have your voice in my head when i read your blog but the image i have of you will always be different. no better or worse just different.

i have enjoyed reading your back library and look forward to what is to come. keep up the good work
leon

SippicanCottage said...

Hello everone. Thanks for reading and watching and commenting.

Gerard has a terrific story on his page today.

Jamie- Yes, that's my owl house.

I hereby reserve "Flog and Maul" as the official name reserved for when I start an Irish music duo.

Hi Ron- Mrs. Barker's CV seems to have escaped them. I am handsomer than I look, it's true.

Glynn- The story I have on the website about Ma Barker and her table says the drawer is a handy place to keep the guns. I guess NECN figured they were wide receivers for the Giants.

Hi Richard- Nice of you to drop by.

It is better to have people ask why there isn't a statue in your honor, than why there is.

I love to read the Golden West blog because I lived in SoCal before and I have a tender spot for it.

Anwyn- I've taken quite a bit of ribbing about that vest. Seems appropriate.

Leon- Thanks for that. Maggies are good friends and are generous with praise for me. They are always interested in interesting things.

You've touched on an interesting aspect of video on the Intertunnel. Like you, I find it useful to see and hear a video, or meet in person the author of the text I'm reading. But I only need to see it once, and then go back to reading as you described with the author's voice and anima pasted over it.

blake said...

Sippican will be taking over for Wm. Petersen when he leaves CSI this week.

(Nice bit!)

Pastor_Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pastor_Jeff said...

Hey, the video was cool, but I was expecting you to sound normal, like a Midwesterner.

(Heh. I had a typo in the original and resent it. The new verification word? 'retad' -- just like a New Englander would pronounce it. Pride goeth before a fall.)

Pastor_Jeff said...

If you need any more 'dirt glaze,' I can send my boys and the dog over ...

Eric said...

I think I was expecting a sort of more nasal "Ya-can't-git-there-from-heah" sort of accent.

I can see that Gerard is obviously happy for you.

Norm would be tut-tutting about the lack of protective eye-gear at the saw. (Funny, that's the first thing I thought of, watching you cut that wood.)

Like Spock says: Live long and prosper.

Thud said...

Sipp...aren't we the snappy dresser? I enjoyed the clip immensely and I will be making a purchase as soon as I finally get around to buying this new house in Ca I keep promising myself.On a worknote I use a cement mixer with a sand and gravel slurry to distress brick and stone...200 years of wear in 30 mins.

Jewel Atkins said...

You realize, sir, that you are setting a BAD BAD example for my irksome middle child, whose idea of distressing the furniture is stabbing it with her knife at dinner time, while casually yacking on the phone. "Well why don't you take it away from her when you're having dinner, then?" You sarcastically ask. Eating with my children defeats the whole purpose of letting them fend for themselves! We only find out about it AFTER we've sanded out the last table stabbing. Oh, and the word verification says

Hazy Dave said...

Pretty cool. I can recall stressing a piece of furniture when I was around 5 years old with one of those screwdrivers that spun the bit around automagically when you pushed the handle down the threaded shaft...

SippicanCottage said...

Hi Hazy Dave- I still have one of those. I'm so old that I worked construction before cordless tools and that was our version of a cordless drill-driver. Oh how that badboy would pinch when you missed.