Today is a big anniversary for anyone born in the fifties. An event of profound importance is commemorated on this date every year now -- first popularized, of course, in the seventies.
What? What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, littering is bad. But what the hell are you people picking through your trash like raccoons for, and calling it Christmas? Never mind all that. It's Peter Frampton's birthday!
Excuse me, I have to go cut down a tree and make it into something useful.