Thursday, December 28, 2006

I'm Still Busy. Here's A Picture Of A Boat

I'm still too busy to write. I'm not writing this, really. Consider this not written.

That's a boat I built. It's 14-1/2 feet long. It's made of mahogany, and the hull is made of marine plywood, which is made from mahogany too.

It was fascinating to read the ink stamps on the material and paperwork, and trace the trajectory of the wood around the planet before it got to me here in Southcoast Mass.

The wood itself is probably African, or from Southeast Asia. It's glued together in a sandwich of layers and epoxy glue, in Greece of all places. Then I think it went to Canada. It was blessed with holy syrup there, or something. Perhaps extra splinters were installed; I dunno. Then it went to Maryland. I don't know about that one either. Then I bought it from an internetish concern in Somerville, Massachusetts, and the Maryland people drop shipped it to me. I made something out of the oak pallet it was shipped on, too.

I farted around with this boat for a decade, maybe two. By "farted around," I mean I looked at the plans over and over. They were sold to me by a guy in Florida, who bought the rights to them from a guy in Maine. The guy in Florida took out an ad in a magazine published in Maine to sell the plans.

I have a headache.

Anyway, I started building the thing, forty-five minutes a year, just like clockwork. I am very steady in this regard. I can work on things forty-five minutes a year almost indefinitely. I am implacable. It is wiser to be a glacier than a supernova, is it not?

It was in the way, eventually, the 315 minutes worth of moulds and the few sticks of boat. So I finished it in about three weeks. And then I put it in a garage. It's still there. We rechoose a name for it every couple of years to keep the interest we have in it at its fever pitch.

Hmmm. Perhaps I was hasty earlier. I think it's still in the garage.

At the time, it was the third boat I owned. The others were each much bigger, and slightly smaller than this one, respectively. I gave those two boats away, because I never really used them. They were moored ten miles away, but late at night in the summer, when the roar of the peepers and the gentle coo-coo of the morning doves abated, I could hear those boats laughing at me across the inky ocean and the verdant landscape. I didn't know how to sink them, so I gave them away.

I could always go out on the water on this one, the one in the picture, I thought. You know, the one in the garage, I think.

I'm busy. Here's a picture of a boat.


Editor Theorist said...

It looks like a lovely boat - but I think a garage is the best place for it - or maybe out on the front lawn where neighbours can give it admiring glances.

I used to sail dinghies in my mid-teens, but was ground-down by the amount of faff involved in setting them up, then cleaning and putting them away.

And eventually, once I could sail, I got bored with the pointlessness of it (since I didn't want to race).

So I stopped and learned the accordeon instead, before getting bored with that - and so on.

BTW accordeon players are _always_ nice people.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

You ain't too busy if you're photoshopping Ann Althouse onto foreign flags in the future.

SippicanCottage said...

Ruth Anne- You can always tell --

when I'm eating or drinking coffee.

Randy said...

Enough already! It is time: Sail away. Sail away. Sail away!

(Well, actually, spring might be a better choice, but you get my drift ;-)

Randy said...

I am incredibly jealous at this moment, I should add. So much so that I very well may not talk to you again until 2007.

You could always pretend, BTW, that the real reason you have not yet set sail is that your wife is spending the same 45 minutes a year sewing the sail and is not. BWDIK? This might be a recipe for marital discord.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Internet Ronin: I'll try,oh, Lord, I'll try, to carry on.

[Styx and Stones]

SippicanCottage said...

Hey editor t- Being "bored with the pointlessness of it" is, well, the point of it, isn't it?

You brought a small tear to my wife's eye as well, as she remembered that nice person and accordion player, her father.

She doesn't speak British, and wonders why an "editor theorist" can't spell accordion properly.

the accordion: a piano with emphysema

Editor Theorist said...

Spelling accordeon with an 'e' subtly indicates (or did, in my circle) that you are a folkie and probably play a small, accoustic and relatively simple instrument; rather than an accordianist (with an 'i') which might indicate playing a very large, maybe electronic - and possibly jewelled - machine.

Actually, I shouldn't be telling you these arcane secrets...