Monday, August 14, 2006

What I Learned Over The Weekend

  • Small children like bubbles.
  • Large children like bubbles but are loathe to admit it.
  • I like bubbles.
  • Cobwebs turn to a piquant glaze when they reach just the right temperature on the grill.
  • A grill that is not a fire hazard makes bland food.
  • If there's a nastier creature on the planet than a horsefly, I haven't seen it.
  • Crabgrass is green too.
  • You can buy white phlox all you want, but half their children turn out magenta and that's that.
  • They tried machine guns, razor wire, high voltage, concrete, and enormous heaps of glass shards to keep those poor people from escaping from East Germany back in the day. I could have mailed them one poison ivy plant. They could have eaten twice a day instead of once with the money they saved.
  • I can still beat my 11 year old in a foot race. Barely.
  • I like football. It's the only thing I watch on television. So I get a fresh perspective on things when I tune in. I have only two questions: Doesn't anyone already have a car? Can't anyone get an erection?
  • A cicada buzzes exactly like the doorbell transformer in the utility room. I like the cicada sound better. This points to some failing in my constitution, I imagine.
  • St Francis is surely a patient and loving man, to let all the birds crap on him like that.
  • A rose, like a marriage, is a demanding thing to cultivate. The thorny part always grows great, but it takes a lot of effort to coax the bloom out. You must immediately cut the bloom and give it to your beloved, if you want another to grow.


Mark Daniels said...

I like the sound of cicadas, too. I remember once sharing that with a friend, who seemingly winced in pain at the very thought. "Oh, I hate them," she told me. "The sound of them gives me the creeps." Who knew?

By the way, here's a "Wow!" to be used any time.

Mark Daniels

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Hey look, there's one now: Mark Daniels